When Your Job Sucks

Today I'm going to step away from weight loss and focus on something a lot more personal that has been bothering me lately. That something is the suckiness of my job. Keep in mind, though, that my job doesn't suck, not by a long shot. I'm a photographer, and I am extremely passionate about what I do. I LOVE it. I'm constantly reading about the subject, practicing, and fine tuning my skill. Photography is an art, really, the only art I'm any good at. The thing about my job is that every person with a "fancy" digital camera thinks that they are photographers, that they can just pick up a camera, point it, and click it and that it is great. That they are then a photographer. This pisses me off.

A little history:
When I was a child, my mom never let me use her camera. This, of course, made me want to use it all the more. Imagine my excitement when in grade school, we were given an assignment having to do with taking photos. I'm a little fuzzy on the exact point of the assignment, I believe it was a scavenger hunt of sorts. What I remember the most is seeing this rusty, old trailer in our backyard. I took my camera, a disposable one, and walked toward the trailer excitedly. It had never looked so beautiful to me before. I kneeled down on the ground and lined up the shot and when I clicked the shutter, it was like the photography bug bit me on the behind! I was hooked to the thrill of making art, of knowing that while I couldn't draw or paint or sculpt, I could make art using a camera!

In 2006, I moved across the country to California to live with my husband, then my fiance. I knew that I needed a job, and I was so excited when I saw that a well known photography chain was hiring. I got the job and for the next eight months, I was engrossed in what I was most passionate about. I learned things I had never considered, how to pose, how to use lighting, even the basic logistics of how a camera works. I was sad to end my eight month employ with the company, but the policies were too strict, my coworkers were too unfriendly, my manager was too slave driving, and the client base was too bratty. I wanted to fly free. I wanted to make art out of my photographs again, I wanted to make my own rules. Unfortunately, between 2006 and 2011, I failed to make it as a photographer. I didn't even try. Maybe it was fear of rejection, maybe it was just laziness. I still took as many photos as I could of family, places, things, etc.

Today:
If you fast forward to today, I am finally living my dream. I make my own schedule and choose my clients. I have time to prepare for sessions and to think about the direction I want it to go. The thing is, it's HARD to get clients. I've been working my butt of for the last eight months, but I still have very little to show for it. I'm really sensitive about this. For so long, I never even tried to be a photographer because I didn't want to be one of those people, a big fraud with an expensive camera. After much encouragement from those closest to me, I finally reached out to friends and family, I was trying to expand my portfolio and needed some volunteers. What I found out is that I am not just a fraud. I know my camera and I certainly know how to use it.

My bff Ben.

This is my brother and his gorgeous wife.

That's why it makes me so upset to see people on my Facebook friends list say that they are starting a photography business on the side. It would be different if these people had any talent, but truly, they don't. The thing that stings the most is that these people actually have clients. People are booking them to take their photos. I've been trying to build a client base for many, many months now. I know that mostly, it's because their friends are the ones asking for the photos and here, I have no friends. I know that hard work and determination will be so, so good for me in the long run. I know that having quality clients will make my work that much more enjoyable. Just like weight loss, if I keep at this, keep working hard, I will see wonderful changes!

I'm sorry if I seem like a whiny b*tch, but I'm really feeling frustrated about all of this. Has anything like this happened to you? Also, if there is anyone out there in the San Antonio/Austin area, let me know if you'd like a photo session with me. I have reasonable prices and wonderful photos.

My most recent session :)